


Not quite Forever

by Wierdowithagun



Category: Naruto
Genre: Character Death, Depressing, Emotional, Kakuhida - Freeform, Love Confessions, M/M, Romance, Songfic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-06-06
Updated: 2014-06-06
Packaged: 2018-02-03 14:22:39
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,020
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1747748
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Wierdowithagun/pseuds/Wierdowithagun
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Another Kakuhida songfic. But this one's horribly depressing. No fluff here...</p>
            </blockquote>





	Not quite Forever

 

  
_"You know I can't take one more step toward you."_

  
It's been so long. It's been far too long. In a position like this, I doesn't matter much.  
A zombie, nothing more, this body isn't even my own. You weren't revived along with me, and the last flicker of hope I had has burned out and died.  
You won't be back, I'll never see you again.

  
_"'Cause all that's waiting is regret..."_

  
It wasn't easy. It was never easy. I lived my entire life by the code;  
The correct path is never the easy one.  
So I stayed quiet, I ignored the lust. I told myself it was nothing more. But I can never deny that I enjoyed it.  
When you love someone enough, you begin to love what they love. The pain, the distant ache...  
It only brought you closer.

  
_"And don't you know?"_

  
I think... maybe you realized it. I think there, as you were led away from me...  
We both knew, we saw the hidden panic inside each other. That moment lasted so long, that sense of dread was a pain like no other.  
And maybe I could have won, if that feeling hadn't been burning away inside.  
And maybe I could have saved you.  
Maybe I could have been your hero.

  
_"I'm not your ghost anymore."_

  
And when the light came back.  
When I was alive again, my chest twisted with joy, a pain I was happy to bear.  
I didn't matter how scarce the chance was, it didn't matter how futile it was to hope. In that second, that long everlasting second, you knew.  
And now, we could continue, exactly where that second had ended. And without having to speak at all, you could take away that weight, that horrible overbearing feeling.  
The feeling that..  
I would never see you again.

And this song... It won't stop.

  
_"You lost the love.."_

 

* * *

 

  
_"I loved the most.."_

  
It's been long indeed.  
Unable to see, unable to scream.  
Unable to clutch at the ache, unable to curl up, unable to console myself.  
You didn't know, I don't think you knew. And I hated you for it.  
I tried so hard, so damn hard to keep you from seeing. My success was the most unnerving of all.  
Love was for the weak.  
Love was for the mortal.

  
_"I learned to live, half alive..."_

  
And that one moment, that last look. The complete and utter lack of control.  
Your eyes, your frantic pleading eyes.  
I think you knew. You really did know. Maybe you knew all along.  
I couldn't be angry, it hurt so good. To at least know that in the end, in the very fleeting end,   
you felt it too.

  
_"And now you want me one more time."_

  
And here I've been waiting.  
Just remembering, replaying it over and over again.  
That last look, that last moment. The planets aligned and for a brief, blissful second I was yours.  
And I could be strong because of that.  
I could hold tight to that glorious pain.  
I would never beg, I would not ask for death. I could keep going as long as I felt that, it was almost as if I could feel you.  
You would find me, because you could feel it too.  
You would find me and rescue me, like you always did.  
You would put me back together.

  
_"And who do you think you are?"_

  
But you didn't come.  
You didn't come back.  
I'm here all alone, so completley alone. Forever.  
But how could you. Even the one I devoted everything I had to, he left me here as well.  
You didn't even know.

  
_"Runnin' round, leaving scars."_

  
And how could you have.  
I must have been seeing things, that feeling of dread just made it seem like you care.  
But you didn't care, you couldn't.   
Because you didn't know.

Our song... it's been playing for us. It won't stop. And it hurts...

* * *

 

  
_"Collecting your jar of hearts."_

  
And my heart aches again.  
This false heart, though it's not mine, it still hurts the same.  
I can't even feel you anymore. Though the light came back, and I'm here again.  
I don't know if I can still save you.  
Maybe I'm too late.  
I thought you were there, that faint, tugging sensation. But it's gone, and I fear you are too.  
And maybe it was me..  
maybe it was me who killed you in the end.

  
_"Tearing love apart..."_

  
If I could break down and cry.  
If there were any hope left at all.  
If I had the energy to even feel.  
Maybe I would grieve.  
Maybe I would mourn.  
I'm not weak by far, But the thought had near crippled me.  
To think that the burden is mine to shoulder, alive again.  
I think I preferred death.

  
_"You're gonna catch a cold."_

  
We could have had so much time.  
You waited for me, you held on so long.  
And I think you felt me come back, you knew I could save you again.  
But I couldn't, and you let go.

I didn't know it was so sad, it won't go away, the song. The damn music...

* * *

 

_"From the ice inside your soul..."_

  
Maybe I can sleep now.  
Now that it's gone.  
Since that last tiny, nearly intangible little flame has finally died.  
I'm so tired of waiting,  
so tired of hopeing.  
Of holding on to that last thought.  
I can't even recall it any more.  
I don't even remember your face.  
Or your voice..  
Or your name...

But... this song...

* * *

_"So don't come back for me..."_

Just like that.  
There's nothing left.  
Nothing at all.  
I think you finally let go, and if you are at peace...  
Then there still is hope.  
I will see you again soon,  
This time I promise, if I have to end it myself.  
I couldn't not save you in life, but surely I can make up for it.  
Since we both know now,  
There are no more secrets,  
And we don't have to waste time.

* * *

 

_"Don't come back at all..."_

It stopped...

_I love you._

_I always have._

**Author's Note:**

> So, I don't know what possessed me to write something so horribly sad and emo-licious. But Damn I just couldn't resist anymore.  
> Those stupid little fucking ideas that pop up in there into my brain, they just leech and leech until I don't have the strength to resist!! OTL  
> Anyways, yea this was a one-shot because I wanted to get it out of the way.
> 
> Oh, P.S. The last two very last lines, It's not part of the song, it's in italics because I was trying to convey that they were both saying it in unison.  
> I don't own Naruto characters, or the song.  
> Which, by the way, is the first verse and chorus of "Jar of Hearts" By Christina Perri. It's a popular song, but not everyone is from where I'm from.  
> Comments are loved.


End file.
